Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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