woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
