Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
