By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
