I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
