I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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