Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
