Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
