Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
