He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
