Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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