i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
