Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
