thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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