Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize