didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
