Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
