I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
