Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
