the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
