I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
