Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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