I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
