I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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