I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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