How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
