The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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