So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
