When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
this hospital has no fireball
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize
