Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize