you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
