maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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