I just cut my nipple shaving
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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