Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
you would pick up someone in the library
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
