Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
