so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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