she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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