did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
A bitchslap is in order.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
