Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
