I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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