ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
