You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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