we have officially lost it.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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