im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
