it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
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