Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
