Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
