the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
