i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize