just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
