I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
