lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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