I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
it's like iHOP with fire
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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