FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
