I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
