girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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