Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
