I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
