This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
the night ended with taco bell and tears
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Randomize
