I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize