I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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