id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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