I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
worst night to have a conscience
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize