uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
